Grief is Love
Grief is Love
Grief is an internal experience. For some, it is an inside emptiness – a fear – panic- loneliness – anger – guilt – longing – depression. When asked this question recently, a patient said, “Grief is Love – with no place to go”.
Mourning is a bit different. Mourning is ‘grief” which is expressed to the outside world. It is the process where I “work through” my grief outwardly expressing my internal feelings.
Grief alone, without mourning, is dangerous and destructive to the human system.
WHEN GROWING UP, WHO TAUGHT US HOW TO MOURN?
All our lives, most of us have been taught how to acquire, not how to lose. There has been no course called LOSS 101. No wonder it is strange and painful. Many mourn their grief as they witnessed some role model, (perhaps a parent, movie or national personality) handle his or her grief.
As young people, we may have heard these messages:
- “Don’t feel bad, don’ t cry.” (message – Bury your feelings)
- “You lost your toy! Well just be good and Santa will bring another.” (message – everything is replaceable)
-”Now! You just keep your feelings to yourself.” (message – Don’t trust, it isn’t safe to share your feelings.)
Who taught you how to appropriately express feelings and experience loss?
